like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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