2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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