I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
