At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
