I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
