Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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