I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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