Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
