then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
