just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
