dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
