Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
