Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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