Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
