dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
