i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
