Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
