i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
