He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
