im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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