Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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