How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i've created a new STD.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
