i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
