walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
