Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
