oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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