Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
