WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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