I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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