Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
