Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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