My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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