so that wasnt chicken after all
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
