Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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