high people should be assigned attendants
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
