there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
