i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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