STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
