i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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