Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
