so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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