oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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