Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got chris browned last night
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
