Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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