things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
