Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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