And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
