you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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