I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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