is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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