you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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