Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
