I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
