Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
