literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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