I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
