considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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