He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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