Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
